This time

Was it too harsh? Did I stretch my limit?
The question does bother me, even if a bit!
Funny were the words, as they rightfully should be
The lack of it does make things awry.
But still, what we seek is unknown, hidden beneath
I don't want that to be remembered only with the rosy wreath.

Takes time, I know, getting to know and stuff
Placing the world we see into same shapes and sizes,
Arrested but without a handcuff
It's this longing I quest for, the one that can't wither away
It's this meaning of life I envision, the one that never turns grey.
The one that is eternal, come what may!

Habituated yet not, flickers whisking past now and then,
I know not till then when,
Perhaps eternity, the longing wishes still
Perhaps this time, the same passion as always I feel,
Hope lingers on despite the wounds still raw
Perhaps it's something only in you I saw! 

Getting back

Sucking the nib, awfully short of words,
Or rather the thought, as dilemma creeps in,
I knew it, the destiny, as is inevitable for the nerds
So long, those last shots, ages away they had been.
Straws to latch on to, or elixir to help me get back
Unfortunately neither, nor a moment to cut some slack.

Oh perseverance, get me some time to doze
Get me some consciousness, as if the world froze
And I started anew, or move backwards in past
Get me some of those moments which I thought would forever last
Your betrayal is nothing short of a dream
Which in another world I'd would've termed amazing!

I'm getting back, I knew I would anyway
For my zone has always been in the middle, something people call grey
Not here, not there, trying to be as unpredictable as I could
The lack of attention giving me a space to brood
An in my solitude I regain my life, or I think I do.
That's the best I can, when there's no one around like you. 

Chasing away

I was stupid, of course not a new discovery for me;
The unfathomable extent, as I rightly failed to see,
And it continues to play hide and seek,
The sanctuary too abstruse, and as usual my chances are bleak.
Usual stuff, never been a joyous ride;
Probability and me, hard to go side by side.
Seeking exhausted, and now I have nowhere to hide--
The law of my land, which painfully I always abide.

Breaking free, my chance for redemption passing by;
Stay back, oh goodness, let me still live my lie.
It has taken me places, all I can remember now
Into the darkness, into the abyss, and into places of secrecy I vow
And I believed it, imprudence knew no bound
I know you judge me, but you're fun to be around.
It's this dichotomy, the wishful thinking I chase,
As the last flicker of hope dissolves into eternal haze.


  

Search

Yet I keep searching, albeit helplessly for the ever eluding truth
And the search carries on, knowing full well of it's treacherous nature
But the game being played was never to reach a conclusion to my favor
Or to it, just that my choices emerge out of a different route.

The tune I sing to, the commonplace rhetorics I enthusiastically build
The weary mass accumulated over ages, for my own recreation
In fact a burning evidence to the lack of it, a mound of hapless emotion
Which fortunately will die, to the unavailability of a fertile field.

But my daily routine, warranting no transformation, pushes me to the brink
Perhaps to extinction, like the last dinosaur helplessly withering away
Perhaps destruction it prefers over evolution, looking to keep Darwin at bay
Those times it overpowers my own consciousness, possibly always, as I more closely think. 

And Again!!

Ah many days have passed
And the passion slowly dying down
But suddenly a flicker,
Like the old Barbecue flame, still sufficient to let me drown
And again I succumb
To the emotions, which as before seems a coveted crown.

The same lane of ecstasy I tread
The healing wounds still whisper warning tone
Of the sorrowful walk back
Which as always I have to venture alone.
But still the joy is all I care
For it surpasses the necessity to hardly even mourn.

Again I choose none

Better to ignite passions or better to be numb?
A study, case by case, but I want a rule of thumb,
Temptations too exciting, yet I barely succumb;
Finer sensibilities lacking, finally I managed to be dumb.

Tough choice tough roads, but that's really the world
Of mundane stories, and fierce punches, and vicious abuses hurled,
But leaves a choice, to swing into morose, in the odd corner, curled
Or to fight it out of the by-lanes of sorrow -happiness unfurled.  

Again I choose none, the forever confused, dreams undone.
Yes I could still catch the trains on either side, if I choose to run,
Stuck at standing start, choosing a lane, although you blew the gun,
Morons running with ardent fervor, but my race has hardly begun.  

Love Poem

Speaking of my love I am sadly short of words at this moment;

As if the very feeling has drawn me into bewilderment, 

An agony stretched far enough, an emotional predicament. 

Yet the joy, yet the passion, yet the ecstasy eclipses the lament. 

Overshadowed but only for a bit, waiting to make a further dent, 

But welcome you yet, for even you must find a place to vent. 

On this very day I choose, not for the sake of Valentine, 

Not for the gloomy snow or the hope of a better sunshine, 

Surroundings shower love more frequently though I miss the sign, 

But matters not enough to apologize for the mistake of mine. 

I speak in spite of, I speak despite, I speak to despise the world taking a disciplined line. 

I speak for myself, I speak to the loveless eyes of thine. 

I speak in frustration, I speak in anguish, I speak in distress-

The day just happens to coincide with a similar medieval mess.   

I shudder inexplicably as the whole world watches with a frowning face, 

But it's the last chance to file, and here I rest my case 

It's this apathy that leeches on the love, burning it in a furnace 

And only I fight this lonely battle for a reason I still can't express. 

Stuck

Incessant thoughts finding a way to escape, 
The sword is the pen, stuck in mean time through a red tape. 
Too direct, too sharp, at times too rusty 
The deep wound it has the repute of, often too nasty. 


Stuck in cottage with shackles of knowledge,
Temporary bliss but still a man on a ledge 
Nowhere to run without a fight 
The 'sword' is last refuge that seems at sight. 

Sharpened long ago, at times of distant dream
The grip not so tight, neither the speed supreme 
But a fight to survive the sole weapon in the armor 
A passion to fight, the war cry I murmur. 

A strategy at hand is the need of the hour, 
In this battle of might which lacks firepower. 
The thoughts in agony but the words not floweth 
Sunk in his own thoughts the battle wary poet.

Miner

The unfinished breakfast with dumplings of snow 
The winter time is still around but it's spring you know.
Associating to morbidity is not my cup of tea
Even if my desire is frozen, unable to overflow.

Emancipation thoroughly cherished but overused a state
Something too common for me to relate
Excavating through the sorrow is not doubt tiresome
But the sight of joy is always an energizing bait.

Narrowing down the distance with every strike of the shovel
But seems a mirage, a mystery I may never unravel
Yet the angst, the curiosity - which kills but not without a fight 
The detective must lose now, life is hardly a novel.

Yet with the times frozen, as I happen to look upon the past
The hole was smooth I just happened to not squeeze fast
Beneath was probably happiness forever untrodden
Or that's how we see it, joy is what we can never get past.

Rolling Times

You had chided me for being an escapist.
Escapism wasn't my destiny if I may insist,
More a desperation, a flash of indecisiveness,
A moment of hollow, the most I can express.

Running away after myself, to find me back again
Final resort to stop the loss, stop the excruciating pain
Re-energizing Eh? Too cocky a term
Simply a sojourn from the torrid times, just to reaffirm

The monotonicity pervading through the plains
The everlasting seas slowly drifting to the undulating mountains
But the refuge I seek abruptly shrinking space
The sufferers increasing too, leading to another race.

Th rat-race I despise, catching up to me another time
The world forsaken for all those thoughts sublime
These times are nearly cry, wish thoughts could take a rest
But roll on as usual, too sheepish to decide in haste.

Free my Love

Liberty is all that we seek in the midst of love
Love was not there, the surest reality check
Words spoken were spontaneous but still not enough
Inevitable was the conclusion- A Heart was bound to break

Could have rolled on in hope of better a time
Of passions still igniting, of bosoms full of flame
Of kisses here and there, an imagery sublime
Of hormones going haywire, and yet we must blame it on them

But alas the decision must be taken
True that there was no hurry
But holding back is a sign of desperation 
And here again I vow Setting my love to be free 

 

A Song

Starting off a this song, the lyrics of which I want to focus on. 

Speaking up on political taunts  may be my usual style but not on other fronts.

It started with fun, the other trying to outdo the one 

Flirting is some fun, and bet I can give your money a run  

But times change and so do heart, even the best resilient  falling apart 

Time to speak and time hear, words echoing far and near 

Moments of depression forever forlorn, with gusts of joy like a swan song  

May be some words needed to be spoken, May be the heart needed to be open 

Too little too late but wish it brings glee,  for somethings could never withered be 

Spoken a lot, now the time to hide, leaving on a jet plane with the world aside

The same game goes with the shuffling on, Till the battery of life is mistakenly gone 

Another chance is not another betrayal, some stuffs you wish can never be surreal 

Ramblings are my own delight

I am fed by the screen I spend my hours with,

With colors extracted from my own might

Throwing them away to the hearts unkind is my own folly

But I can’t seem to put up a fight 

 

Fading is my nature not inherited insight  

Recollection is game of passion alright

Though rationale makes my story watertight

Something in it doesn’t always seem right 

The flow of time encompassing me, sparing not a foothold But before I give in to it madness, the story must be told

For years have I dreamed, my folly, to hold ground 

The determination crumbles at the very juncture, with you around 

I had things to tell, also had a lot of time

But laziness always seemed more preferable, a thing sublime

Now under pressure to blurt out with so little time to spare

The speed of life along with its beauty, seems never really fair

Existence

In this world in my comfortable niche, creating all for my own I exist!
Existential crisis not bothering me a bit,
The very knowledge that I exist is a temptation I am able to resist--
And go ahead with the world I have carefully knit.

Sometimes my presence comes into notice,
Halley's comet or something more frequent;
A single node, an odd corner of a multifaceted dice-
Lost in my thoughts which rarely are eloquent.

Making my equilibrium unstable, a bit too often... to my pleasure,
A gust of wind turning my sensibilities into a whirl;
Your strength is my weakness, I know not how to measure
That's all you use to win e-v-e-r-y time, my sweetest deary girl...

Going with the flow

Sorrow, distress, agony wrecking me all the while
Anguishing heart has blotted my smile
Sucked into the world so full of guile
Transformed into a wretched senile 

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
Wilfully swallowed by the hungry tide
It's indeed a joyous ride
At least I don't need to take a side

Perfect timing, I aptly withdrew 
No scope really now of running askew
A story so flawless, yet known to a scanty few
I wish someday the rest of the world knew 

Pain

I feel the pain the world has brought to us

Astoundingly not numb am I to this silent torture 

Not yet, or not so nimble in joining the class

Blissfully ignorant of the subtle overture

Wishful thinking as introspect and regret 

A burnt child, should have perhaps been a little circumspect 

Leave it not to destiny and not a tinge of fret 

But a plethora of remorse for a crime I indeed did abet 

Sorry

I have never realized when to say sorry to you

Times I have tried to understand what you expect

Times I have succeeded but proportions so few

Times I have handled your feelings without respect.

Maybe I would say help me understand 

Maybe you would make an exception from your stand

But may be I would tread the same path at hand 

But may be you already know the law of the land

It's time to contemplate and analyze myself through

Do I really feel what I wish to do

Do I really believe in open mind, or stuffs that thorough 

The more I feel, my eyes are red, maybe encapsulating sorrow

Experiments with Solitude

I wish people knew me better than they do.

Something that only I can wish, 

Being tired of the solitary bliss.

It's Time that I give it a miss

And depart with a goodbye kiss.

Onto solitude I can only think of saying "Booo...".

"Welcome to the world", did I reside in you?

Seems familiar yet so new,

Saturated by the enchanted crew.

They talk to me, but I talk to few.

Again in my lonely heart, isolation I brew,

With the clatter all around,  with all the cry and hue.

Away I fly to the abode of the silent cuckoo.
Somethings are as they are,
A hornets nest none should stir,
Consequences vivid with an unhealing scar.
Wish I didn't go really this far,
I wish people didn't know me as much as they do...

Lost chance

Whichever course i follow, it is untrodden nevertheless,

All my steps taken, whose consequences only I can assess,

Have led me here and will lead me on

Future is unknown and the past completely forlorn

In the dark alleys probably of a blackhole, in an abyss

Lost in space and time, maybe enjoying the solitary bliss

Eagerly waiting to reach the very top, the zenith I behold

Or is this just a passing dream, a story to remain untold

Latching on to the wheel am I

Unable turn it, I watch the waves passing by

In grave sombre I lost the chance to snatch the deal

One last opportunity to turn my life perfectly surreal.