This time

Was it too harsh? Did I stretch my limit?
The question does bother me, even if a bit!
Funny were the words, as they rightfully should be
The lack of it does make things awry.
But still, what we seek is unknown, hidden beneath
I don't want that to be remembered only with the rosy wreath.

Takes time, I know, getting to know and stuff
Placing the world we see into same shapes and sizes,
Arrested but without a handcuff
It's this longing I quest for, the one that can't wither away
It's this meaning of life I envision, the one that never turns grey.
The one that is eternal, come what may!

Habituated yet not, flickers whisking past now and then,
I know not till then when,
Perhaps eternity, the longing wishes still
Perhaps this time, the same passion as always I feel,
Hope lingers on despite the wounds still raw
Perhaps it's something only in you I saw! 

Getting back

Sucking the nib, awfully short of words,
Or rather the thought, as dilemma creeps in,
I knew it, the destiny, as is inevitable for the nerds
So long, those last shots, ages away they had been.
Straws to latch on to, or elixir to help me get back
Unfortunately neither, nor a moment to cut some slack.

Oh perseverance, get me some time to doze
Get me some consciousness, as if the world froze
And I started anew, or move backwards in past
Get me some of those moments which I thought would forever last
Your betrayal is nothing short of a dream
Which in another world I'd would've termed amazing!

I'm getting back, I knew I would anyway
For my zone has always been in the middle, something people call grey
Not here, not there, trying to be as unpredictable as I could
The lack of attention giving me a space to brood
An in my solitude I regain my life, or I think I do.
That's the best I can, when there's no one around like you. 

Chasing away

I was stupid, of course not a new discovery for me;
The unfathomable extent, as I rightly failed to see,
And it continues to play hide and seek,
The sanctuary too abstruse, and as usual my chances are bleak.
Usual stuff, never been a joyous ride;
Probability and me, hard to go side by side.
Seeking exhausted, and now I have nowhere to hide--
The law of my land, which painfully I always abide.

Breaking free, my chance for redemption passing by;
Stay back, oh goodness, let me still live my lie.
It has taken me places, all I can remember now
Into the darkness, into the abyss, and into places of secrecy I vow
And I believed it, imprudence knew no bound
I know you judge me, but you're fun to be around.
It's this dichotomy, the wishful thinking I chase,
As the last flicker of hope dissolves into eternal haze.


  

Search

Yet I keep searching, albeit helplessly for the ever eluding truth
And the search carries on, knowing full well of it's treacherous nature
But the game being played was never to reach a conclusion to my favor
Or to it, just that my choices emerge out of a different route.

The tune I sing to, the commonplace rhetorics I enthusiastically build
The weary mass accumulated over ages, for my own recreation
In fact a burning evidence to the lack of it, a mound of hapless emotion
Which fortunately will die, to the unavailability of a fertile field.

But my daily routine, warranting no transformation, pushes me to the brink
Perhaps to extinction, like the last dinosaur helplessly withering away
Perhaps destruction it prefers over evolution, looking to keep Darwin at bay
Those times it overpowers my own consciousness, possibly always, as I more closely think. 

And Again!!

Ah many days have passed
And the passion slowly dying down
But suddenly a flicker,
Like the old Barbecue flame, still sufficient to let me drown
And again I succumb
To the emotions, which as before seems a coveted crown.

The same lane of ecstasy I tread
The healing wounds still whisper warning tone
Of the sorrowful walk back
Which as always I have to venture alone.
But still the joy is all I care
For it surpasses the necessity to hardly even mourn.

Again I choose none

Better to ignite passions or better to be numb?
A study, case by case, but I want a rule of thumb,
Temptations too exciting, yet I barely succumb;
Finer sensibilities lacking, finally I managed to be dumb.

Tough choice tough roads, but that's really the world
Of mundane stories, and fierce punches, and vicious abuses hurled,
But leaves a choice, to swing into morose, in the odd corner, curled
Or to fight it out of the by-lanes of sorrow -happiness unfurled.  

Again I choose none, the forever confused, dreams undone.
Yes I could still catch the trains on either side, if I choose to run,
Stuck at standing start, choosing a lane, although you blew the gun,
Morons running with ardent fervor, but my race has hardly begun.  

Love Poem

Speaking of my love I am sadly short of words at this moment;

As if the very feeling has drawn me into bewilderment, 

An agony stretched far enough, an emotional predicament. 

Yet the joy, yet the passion, yet the ecstasy eclipses the lament. 

Overshadowed but only for a bit, waiting to make a further dent, 

But welcome you yet, for even you must find a place to vent. 

On this very day I choose, not for the sake of Valentine, 

Not for the gloomy snow or the hope of a better sunshine, 

Surroundings shower love more frequently though I miss the sign, 

But matters not enough to apologize for the mistake of mine. 

I speak in spite of, I speak despite, I speak to despise the world taking a disciplined line. 

I speak for myself, I speak to the loveless eyes of thine. 

I speak in frustration, I speak in anguish, I speak in distress-

The day just happens to coincide with a similar medieval mess.   

I shudder inexplicably as the whole world watches with a frowning face, 

But it's the last chance to file, and here I rest my case 

It's this apathy that leeches on the love, burning it in a furnace 

And only I fight this lonely battle for a reason I still can't express.