Getting back

Sucking the nib, awfully short of words,
Or rather the thought, as dilemma creeps in,
I knew it, the destiny, as is inevitable for the nerds
So long, those last shots, ages away they had been.
Straws to latch on to, or elixir to help me get back
Unfortunately neither, nor a moment to cut some slack.

Oh perseverance, get me some time to doze
Get me some consciousness, as if the world froze
And I started anew, or move backwards in past
Get me some of those moments which I thought would forever last
Your betrayal is nothing short of a dream
Which in another world I'd would've termed amazing!

I'm getting back, I knew I would anyway
For my zone has always been in the middle, something people call grey
Not here, not there, trying to be as unpredictable as I could
The lack of attention giving me a space to brood
An in my solitude I regain my life, or I think I do.
That's the best I can, when there's no one around like you. 

Chasing away

I was stupid, of course not a new discovery for me;
The unfathomable extent, as I rightly failed to see,
And it continues to play hide and seek,
The sanctuary too abstruse, and as usual my chances are bleak.
Usual stuff, never been a joyous ride;
Probability and me, hard to go side by side.
Seeking exhausted, and now I have nowhere to hide--
The law of my land, which painfully I always abide.

Breaking free, my chance for redemption passing by;
Stay back, oh goodness, let me still live my lie.
It has taken me places, all I can remember now
Into the darkness, into the abyss, and into places of secrecy I vow
And I believed it, imprudence knew no bound
I know you judge me, but you're fun to be around.
It's this dichotomy, the wishful thinking I chase,
As the last flicker of hope dissolves into eternal haze.